This isn't mine. I tried to find the original author but to no avail. Nevertheless, this one is just too good to pass up. Enjoy.
(Image from Sodahead... with my apologies)
The Geography of a Woman
Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa. Half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally Beautiful!
Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe. Well developed and open to trade, especially for someone of real value.
Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain, very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty.
Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece, gently aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit.
Between 41 and 50, a woman is like Great Britain, with a glorious and all conquering past.
Between 51 and 60, a woman is like Israel, has been through war, doesn't make the same mistakes twice, takes care of business.
Between 61 and 70, a woman is like Canada, self-preserving, but open to meeting new people.
After 70, she becomes Tibet. Wildly beautiful, with a mysterious past and the wisdom of the ages. An adventurous spirit and a thirst for spiritual knowledge.
The Geography of a Man
Between 1 and 80, a man is like Iran...
ruled by nuts.
Some other one liners about the sexes
It's O.K. to laugh during sex ... just don't point !
Just because I have one doesn't mean I have to act like one.
Some of us learn from the mistakes of others; the rest of us have to be the others.
Women should not have children after 35. Really... 35 children are enough.
You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him.
By the time you learn the rules of life, you're too old to play the game.
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted.
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking? Because those men already have boyfriends.
By the time a man realises that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he's wrong.
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
Does time fly when you're having sex or was it really just one minute?
My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
Children are natural mimics who act like their parents, despite every effort to teach them good manners.
Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.
You know you’ve reached middle age when your memories become more important to you than your dreams – Susan Delfino (Desperate Housewives)
Not quite enough? How about some other posts?
my blog: Funny quotes about marriage (and divorce)
I recently ran into some humorous and insightful quotes about marriage and divorce. As I chuckled while reading them, I couldn't help thinking of the quite serious question about why we do it. Do we really have no idea of what we're getting ourselves into?
my blog: Optimism: we are hardwired to ignore defeat
[We] can hear a success story like Mark Zuckerberg's of Facebook and imagine ourselves being rich one day and yet, upon hearing that the odds of divorce are almost 1 in 2, we can't imagine our own marriages ever failing.
Ya just gotta laugh. It beats sobbing uncontrollably. :-)
2012-05-28
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