The S Word

It’s an unwritten rule that white people can’t say the N word. The comedian Chris Rock has some hilarious bits talking about this idea, and the gist of it is that only blacks can use the N word. By extension, only Jews can make fun of Jews; only Indians can make fun of Indians, etc.

I would put forward that the S word (slut) deserves the same treatment. There is a lot of hate in the word, and its casual use can easily be misconstrued as derogatory. We live in a culture that sex shames. Why? I’ve heard it said that this is based on religious upbringing. Religion teaches us that it is through suffering that we can gain access to Heaven, consequently, anything pleasurable, especially sex, must be considered bad. This is where sex-shaming comes from.

Going back to the story of the Garden of Eden, Eve convinced Adam to taste the forbidden fruit and thus, both were cast out of paradise. Eve, and women in general, are to be blamed for the woes of man. Since pleasure is considered verboten, that is, sex is bad; it follows that women are bad, especially about sex. Hence, we have slut-shaming. It’s curious to note that the S word here refers to anything sexual. I’m reminded of an old joke.

Question: What’s the definition of a nymphomaniac?

Answer: Someone who wants sex more than me.

In other words, this is all subjective and varies from person to person.

The other day, I read this in a gentleman’s profile:

I refuse to call you a "bitch", "whore", "slut" or any other bullshit label that heaps social shame on you for needing what absolutely EVERYONE else needs. If you wanna call YOURSELF "slut" then do it because you're PROUD of taking what you need and deserve.

Like the N word, the S word is the privilege of a woman. I, as a man, should never use the term; I don’t have the right to use the term.

Sex is not bad; it’s good. I consider sex to be a gift from God. It’s an integral part of being human, and it’s a wonderful part of being alive. Unfortunately, due probably to religion, we misinterpret sex and end up ashamed, unable to cope with our natural desires and the unnatural ideal of a sexless existence. Note that I said natural desires. We are all sexual creatures. We mustn’t be embarrassed by this; we must embrace it.

An Amusing Contradiction
I’ve seen this in my life. A man wants good sex; he fantasizes about it. He hopes to have a partner who is a good lover. And yet, that same man will contribute to the sex-shaming and the slut-shaming of our society. I have actually heard men refer to women using the S word, inferring that they are somehow less worthy as women. It’s curious in some Christian circles how virginity is prized. The joke for me is that I don’t want a virgin; I want a mature, experienced lover. Inexperience in the bedroom is not fun.

Final Word
We all have the right to our sexuality, regardless of race, color, creed, or gender. Women can be just a sexual as men, and there is nothing inherently wrong with that. It is, however, wrong to disseminate the traditional sex-shaming and slut-shaming which exists in society. The S word is meant to be derogatory but there is nothing derogatory about being sexual. If a woman decides to reclaim her sexuality by using the S word, that is her choice but I, as a man, will not use the word. We all need to make the world a better place, and we should all be free to enjoy our inherent right to be sexual. We’re all in this together.

References

Wikipedia: Slut
Slut is generally a term for a person, especially a woman or girl, who is considered to have loose sexual morals or who is sexually promiscuous. It is usually used as an insult, sexual slur or offensive term of disparagement (slut-shaming). It originally meant "a dirty, slovenly woman", and is rarely used to refer to men, generally requiring clarification by use of the terms male slut or man whore.

The first recorded use of the word was a 1386 reference to a man, in Geoffrey Chaucer's The Canterbury Tales, in which he is referring to the man's untidy appearance.

Slut-shaming is a related term, referring to the act of drawing attention to a person's promiscuous behavior for the purpose of shaming them socially. From the late 20th century, there have been attempts to reclaim the word, exemplified by various SlutWalk parades, and some individuals embrace the title as a source of pride.

Consult the site map and search for the word "slut" for other articles on this topic.

my blog: Slut Shaming Women Who Have Sex - Dec 3/2013

my blog: Sex: I'm a man and you're a... - July 13/2010

my blog: #Slanegirl: sex, (double) standards, and sluts - Aug 22/2013
This story is a perfect example of the problem in our society. A photo of a couple having sex is posted to social media and goes viral. The fallout is that the guy is either treated as a hero or gets off scot-free. The girl, however, is vilified to no end. Why? In our society, it would seem that men can be sexual, they have the right to be sexual, while women must be pure as the driven snow!

2022-06-07

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